Over-spontaneity No More

Finally, I’m on vacation!

Our one-month-long practicum has just ended. I must say that it was a very tiring experience for me and, maybe for the rest of my classmates. But it surfaced on me big time only a few days ago, as I try to railroad my research paper about the so-called “presidentiables” and my journals during the practicum. LOL.

Many people noticed that I gained weight.Well, yes, it’s true. From around 53 kilograms (116 pounds) a few months ago, I now weigh around 140 pounds, my heaviest in years! It was pretty hilarious for me. I never thought I could really, really do that! After that instance, I got so inspired on gaining more weight and, eventually, toning my body into a fitter-slash-hotter figure. Starting June (or July), the gym might become my new haven.

Any tips for a first-timer? Haha. I’m excited yet anxious about this.

Aside from working out, I’m excited for an upcoming job for me. I won’t tell what exactly my job is to avoid jynx but, basically, I really need this to help out in minimizing household expenses and to maintain extra cash for other important expenditures. Although I think I lack the specific experience, I firmly believe I can do the nitpicking when accepted for the job. Anyway, all of us start in blank slates.

Just in case you have other part-time jobs to offer, don’t think twice to message me or to reply on this note. It will be very helpful.

But if you think I’m going to decrease my academic load in the coming semesters, that would be a very big no-no. 2010 is my only graduation year. Haha.

As a new phase is about to start, I think it calls for me to lessen my over-spontaneity. I am a person afraid to miss anything I think of as important (or so I think but they might not be that important). Shyness comes into me when I feel that I don’t click that much with my friends or when the news I’m hearing was already outdated.

Thus, with the additional activities added to my calendar, this must urge me to strictly follow what was scheduled at hand and to avoid entertaining unplanned activities (unless it’s too important AND urgent). Still, I’m open to handle various organizational responsibilities, but to a lesser extent now.

Even Dreams Bite

I started writing this entry at ten in the evening, with the desire to express how bugged I am the past few days.

This year’s summer has been one of the busiest days of my life, as my graduation is coming close. As a Political Science student, we have to take Political Science 190 as a course requirement. Described as Practicum in Political Science, this is a way to gauge the extent of learning a student acquired from his course through application and employment of various political theories in our everyday living. From our centralized, not-so-regular class meetings in UP Diliman (which served as our campus this summer), we ventured out of our comfort zones upon integrating with the indigenous people in Ifugao, urban poor families in Quezon City and the bureaucrats in the House of Representatives.

Our practicum/on-the-job training will only last for a month, thus resulting to a heavier academic load and a stressful life. If there’s one thing (aside from playing Tekken 5 through my PSP) that would relieve the fatigue I feel, that’s when I sleep.

But the images I see during my sleep even added to my worries now.

Things Statistics Taught Me

Although I am such a loser in Mathematics, I always find it interesting even if many problems seem too difficult for me. In my entire college life, I’ve gone through five Mathematics courses: Math 1 (Fundamentals of Mathematics), Math 11 (College Algebra), Math 14 (Plane Trigonometry) and Math 100 (Introduction to Calculus) and, now, Political Science 199 (Quantitative Research in Political Science). I enjoyed them amid the headache brought about by solving. Except PolSci 199. As a spontaneous individual, subscribing to a stiff, patterned process (like those of Statistics) make me crazy.

I would just like to clear that I didn’t enjoy PolSci 199 only because of the nature of the subject. Other factors do not affect my feeling towards it.

Last Thursday, I retrieved a take home exam in PolSci 199, which I commonly refer to as PolSci Stat. We were asked to draft a research proposal regarding the perception of UP students to the Arroyo administration. Here, we are just required to explain the employment of statistical methods in research, and how do we intend to approach the topic qualitatively. Due to the lack of skill and my subjective feeling towards Statistics, there’s no chance to ace this exam unless I’ll seek help.

That same night, I messaged my girl to help me out. Yes, she’s brilliant in Math. At exactly ten in the evening, we stayed in Coffee Bean. It was a teacher-and-student type of relation, for I look like a student conducting a consulation with my professor. Due to the patience of the “professor”, understanding the concepts was a bit easy for me.

On that very same night, I find myself understanding not only Statistics.

Ticking Hands

Constantly battling with time has been one of the things I keep on doing everyday. Starting the day in a hurry is a habit, waking up an hour before the class, inclusive of the preparations and the travel time, which will take me two hours at the very least. WTH.

This may be due to my always-on-the-go and spontaneous nature, which is not really bad, since it makes me flexible in general. However, it’s as if I’ve become too complacent with time, acting like every second missed could be filled up with sheer luck–extended deadlines, moved exams, waiting people, professors allowing me to enter the classroom.

Stressful, indeed.

Given that I have to do a lot of stuff, I’m disappointed with how I juggle them right now, and this is a function of how I manage my time. It sucks. I don’t know why I easily get rattled with my things-to-do.

Maybe everything should start first thing in the morning ON TIME. Before I lose luck.

Leap Second

It’s always hard to say goodbye.

On my October 12, 2007 post entitled “Why Goodbye?“, I laid down my thoughts on saying goodbye, and why I regard it as “the hardest, the most painful and the saddest (also according to Celine Dion’s song) word compiled by the lexicographers”. After that post, series of hellos and goodbyes happened up until the last moments of 2008.

New Year’s Eve became a short yet fulfilling period of reflecting for me, amid the relentless banging. Nostalgia sank into me upon reminiscing the events that happened all throughout the year. It then stirred mixed emotions inside, remembering my wide smiles, twinkling eyes, great laughs and most bitter ocean of tears.

What many people don’t know about me is my tendency to become highly sentimental over things, individuals and events I regard of high value. Looking back and realizing what those things did to me on my eighteenth year in this world, 2008 is indeed my most memorable year to date. That night, saying goodbye to my best year yet was a bit hard. I still don’t want to change 8 into 9. AS IF I CAN DO SOMETHING TO MAKE IT POSSIBLE. LOL. Am I just afraid to turn 19, gradually saying goodbye to my teen years? Presumably there’s something more to that.

I’M FRAGILE, maybe because of my youth, and being at legal age does not mean ample maturity and firmness towards things. Still, I can be provoked and be broken into pieces. Maybe that’s what I’m afraid of, after having reconstructed. Like a child starting to learn walking, a wall tested by time and circumstances would be vital to strengthen my knees.

Thanks for the leap second, I had a breather for 2009. Whatever life will bash on to me, it matters. But it won’t crush me anymore, I hope.

Welcome, 2009! Happy New Year!