Why Goodbye?

The now-disbanded boy band Blue, together with Elton John, stated in one of their songs that “sorry” seems to be the hardest word.

But “goodbye“, for me, is the hardest, the most painful and the saddest (also according to Celine Dion’s song) word compiled by the lexicographers.

I remember my childhood days. My mother’s mother, Lola Agot, lives in Batangas. My family and I visit her several times a year. If time and money permits Lola, she visits us in Manila instead. As the eldest (and the most handsome) grandson, I can say that my Lola and I have a very strong bond, maybe because of the fact that I was the only grandson for a couple of years. Being a certified Lola’s Boy, tears never fail to fill my eyes when parting. Eventually, saying goodbye to my Lola gains better acceptance of a life reality, though I still feel very sad most of the time.

Why “goodbye“? Why not “sorry“, “bullshit“, “nincompoop“, or any other word that connotes negative thoughts and emotions?

Goodbye stamps a lasting impression. When a person suddenly entered your mind, the first thing you’ll remember most of the time is the last time you have seen him/her — the last pair of clothes s/he wears, the last facial gesture s/he had made, and the last word s/he had uttered (most probably, goodbye). Then memories start to overflow, making you crazier, and later you’ll realize that you have tasted a sticky substance flowing out of your nostrils. Yuck. *Laughs*

Goodbye makes us feel, at some instances, that it could be the last time. In this uncertain world, anything can happen. The last time might be the last if unpleasant twist of fate happened.

As we sail through life, we encounter people of different sorts. Some might only exist in our sight for a while, while others might embark memorable moments in our hearts and minds. Moreover, special people — who have offered unwavering camaraderie in times of depression, who lent their ears (although they keep on hearing the same rants), who kept our secrets, who tried (and succeed) to uplift and detoxify us, who have given us not only tangible stuff but moral and emotional support as well — will always come our way to make a big difference.

And when these people left you, it’s hard to go on with your life. Really. It hurts, you know, it hurts. Whether they will come back or not, we don’t know. But one must learn to understand a person’s reasons for saying goodbye. If staying doesn’t make any good on them and on us, don’t let them stay for our selfish reasons.

Goodbye is not only a word; it is a space.

Just a thought.

***

Kite and I just celebrated our fourth month yesterday, thus breaking the record of the longest relationship I had — three months and twenty-six days. Break the record every month! After pouring everything for four, it’s now reasonable to JIVE AND GIVE ME A FIVE!