Doors

Which door: the one already closed or the half-open one?

In this world, it’s always nice to have a home, where one could find his shelter in times of extreme weather conditions and fatigue. Your home will definitely remain as the stronghold of one’s emotions, a place where acceptance is a norm in spite of the innate human trait called imperfection.

What if you have to leave that home because they don’t want you to stay?

The first thing to do is to go away from it, trying to forget memories. It’s hard when the doors of the place you’ve been used to decided to close its doors for you. Outside, you’ll feel the shivering air, the intense sunlight. You can just protect yourself by putting on a jacket upon feeling the coldness or using an umbrella to avoid the sunlight, but you can’t totally shield yourself from those. Only inside you can totally get rid of that.

As you walk along, everything becomes more problematic. Where to go? What to do? Which street? What road should be taken? There is a tendency to go astray. A lot of signs could be spotted, but it may or may not lead you where you want to go–if you know where. Some people might seize the chance to abuse and mislead you. Streets will remain strange.

Sometimes, no matter how we detach ourselves to our home, we still come back in front of it, knocking at the door, trying to get the attention of the people inside, hoping for them to realize that you’re outside. You’re willing to wait, whenever they want to open it for you. An extravagant welcome celebration is not what you want; the opening of that door you’ve been longing to would be more than enough to make you happy.

Waiting. That’s a hard thing to do. You might think that the door’s not going to open anymore. Paranoia starts to invade your mind, as it is being fed with thoughts of being unwanted. Different things could happen while you’re outside: fluctuations in temperature, acquiring illness due to insect and animal bites, getting robbed and be killed.

This relentless waiting must end, you’ll tell yourself. You’ll start to look for shelter once again. Some people could only let you stay for the meantime, but not for the longest time that you want. As you search, a half-open door is present. Inside, you see someone, smiling at you. It’s as if the person could give you the shelter you need, however you don’t know until when. You’re afraid to try, either due to suspicion or you can’t just let go of the home that has been there for you before.

The person went outside, and the both of you had a talk. Lending his/her ears to listen to your story, you told him/her everything, bursting in tears. Somehow, you feel comforted by the presence of the person. S/he understood your current situation, more or less, not in full detail, resulting to his/her offer for you to stay inside, with the promise of pampering you.

Still, the door is half-open. You don’t want to enter and see the whole place, for your eyes are still vigilant watching out for someone coming from the other house to open the door for you.

The person keep on giving you reasons why you should enter. His/her arguments seem valid, but you just don’t want to accept it. Finally, after quite a long time of debating, the person won, making you realize that you need not suffer and insist yourself from the “home” that has despised you. As you make your steps towards the door, s/he accompanied you with care, letting you feel the homely love.

Just before you enter, you heard some tiny noise coming from the other house. It’s as if someone’s calling you back. As you turn your head to take a look at the house, a shadow of someone about to open it becomes more prominent.

Now, which door: the one you assumed to open in a while or the half-open one?